Twenty-six years ago, in about 3 hours from now, I went through what I thought was the worst 30 seconds of my life… I waited for my new baby to breathe. It was an eternity, nearly 30 years in 30 seconds, a blink. And now as I look back, twenty-six years has gone by in that same sort of blink.
Was it the worst thirty seconds of my life seen through a backward lens? No. I’ve had FAR worst thirty seconds since then. There was the time my son almost killed himself when he was about 6 by climbing backward up a rock that had nothing but a 500 foot cliff on the other side and I grabbed his shirt right before he went over. Truth be told, I do think that was the worst moment of my life. But, there have been others. The time my ex-husband backed me up into a wall and punched a picture frame above me so the glass fell on me, that was pretty terrifying; that was followed by many more such moments.
So, I bet you were all thinking that my worst moments have evolved around Rett syndrome. Not so. Some of my toughest, maybe, but not my worst, because you see Katelin could NEVER be my worst moment in anyway.
Twenty-six years gone by in a blink. I had dreams, so many dreams, for her. I could so easily go there again, in a blink. Wedding dresses, grandbabies, scientist or astronomer (she does so love the solar system, Jupiter is her favorite planet, but calls Earth, “home”) and discoveries (she was the smartest baby! At 5 months old, picked up my keys, crawled to the door and tried to unlock it). I could, but I won’t. I won’t because, yes, it’s painful, but there’s also no point because who she IS is just as wonderful and amazing.
And, as we now surpass this one more year around the sun, I’m just as happy today as that first one that she is a “Child of Mine.” We’ve had AMAZING moments. We traveled the United States, climbed mountains, climbed the inside of a cave, saw buffalo and geysers, Mount Rushmore-where, according to her, they have the BEST ice cream, Thomas Jefferson’s original recipe. In our trips around the sun, we’ve been on adventure after adventure, and who’s to say if I would have done all that if I hadn’t wanted to show it to her? I may have settled for a humdrum, “normal” life, full of no expectations, no surprises. Instead, I’ve seen giraffes up close and personal, been to almost every state, seen some great wonders of this generous and wondrous land; I’ve fed lions with a stick, got soaking wet at Niagara Falls, been to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Thanks to this girl of mine, I have lived life fuller than I ever would have.
So, Katie-girl, I am so sorry you have Rett syndrome, but I am so, SO happy you are a “Child of Mine.”