The unseen- siblings of special needs kids

imageBoy, does this cut to the quick. Katie’s sister has sacrificed so much. I once had to leave her at the hospital ER,at 15 because there was noone to watch Katie. She had to go through bloodwork and a cat-scan without me. I will never forget the agony of that in my soul. Every word in this article is a dagger to my heart because that’s how it is, and it is the ultimate rotten thing about trying to be a family when there’s a child with special needs. No matter what you do, there just isn’t enough of you to do enough for all. I miss memories I never had a chance of making with my daughter and son. I can only hope they forgive me.


Emily and I on a rare 1:1 lunch date

The unseen-siblings of special needs kids

Invisibility. That’s the superpower that siblings of special needs kids cultivate. Even if they wanted a different one like being able to fly they would be stuck with invisible. It’s not a choice. None of us got a choice. image

It’s not that I don’t actually see my other children. And it’s not that I don’t try. It’s just that no matter how much effort and attention I give them Haley, by virtue of her diagnosis, needs more. We all sacrifice things for her. Whether it’s a family vacation because the medical bills are too much, or a trip to an amusement park because Haley can’t do the rides, or not participating in an after school activity because Haley has a Dr appointment. But one of the things that we don’t really acknowledge is sacrificed is…

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1 Response to The unseen- siblings of special needs kids

  1. Jaette says:

    That support around a family is so darn important. If you are a relative or friend, please try to roll up your sleeves and learn along with everybody. The families DO need your help and the best way to start helping is to learn along with the family. That is what my Dad did. He walked it with us. Even at his age, he knew that was just the thing to do. Do not be overbearing, but just walk it with families and learn how as they do. It is the best gift you can give to be able to say, ‘I can sit with her, I can do that, no problem’ That goes for either the special needs child OR the sibling. Kids in general need help from the extra people in their lives. We really do need a village, or the calvary. Parents that give a rip, kick themselves on a daily basis over something they ‘misses’ with their special needs child and something they ‘missed’ with the siblings. If you care, it tears at your heart strings.

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